About Kevin

Let’s begin early in life. My home life was uneventful. It was a non-Christian home. Mum and Dad did their best although there was not a lot of love shown. I understand now that was because of their upbringing. They both spent time in orphanages. This affected their ability to show love. I always was oversensitive. I thought the world was laughing at me. I found alcohol at 15. I thought I had found the answer to my personality problems, but it betrayed me. Over time it took more and more to feel better. I tried staying constantly under the effects for months. I eventually developed a severe anxiety condition (probably DTs) after an exceptionally big night on booze and drugs. That’s the only way I can describe it. Couldn’t relate to anybody and suffered with extreme anxiety.

The obvious answer was to keep drinking, but somehow a thought came that maybe alcohol was the problem. I managed to put on a brave face and act reasonably normally outside, but as soon as I could I would get away from people. I didn’t drink for many months. I slowly came better, but eventually drank again. Why would I do that? My answer is because I had nothing to replace the alcohol in my life. It was the only thing that enabled me to function in the world. I met a lovely girl (Val) while I was drinking and we got married about 10 months later. I know now that it was God working in my life that got us together. We are still together 28 years later. I’m sure Val has more patience than I have.

I was not much fun to be around when I was drinking. I was not violent or abusive, just depressed. In fact, that was what got me to AA. After a bad day drinking, I was totally depressed and decided I had seen enough of this world. I loaded the gun, stuck it in my mouth and tried to get the mental strength to pull the trigger. For some reason I couldn’t go through with it. Thankfully God had a lot more for me to learn here on earth. Instead I put the gun down and told Val what I had tried to do. Naturally she was concerned. After we had a serious discussion I rang AA and spoke to a very patient man. I know he was patient because he had to be to listen to me dribble on. He suggested I attend an AA meeting, which I did.

I joined AA when I was 30. I’d heard mention of God in relation to AA and I didn’t want any of that religion stuff. First thing I saw on the wall at the meeting was the 12 Steps of AA. There were plenty of mentions of God (as I understood him). These words of God made me very wary. I started off with a funny understanding of God, but this gave me a foothold and I figured I’d hang around and see if it helped. I haven’t drunk alcohol since. That was not my only problem of course. Strangely enough when I stopped drinking, not all of my problems went away. I was told that trying to drown my troubles only teaches them to swim.

I attended AA for about 10 years. I couldn’t find what I was looking for just using my understanding of a higher power. Physically I was back to normal, mentally it was another story. I would still get very frustrated when things didn’t go my way and I was still paranoid. Eventually we moved to Dalby where Val started going to the Baptist Church craft group not long after we arrived. The Baptist Church set this up as an outreach program for the community. Val met a lot of lovely Christian people there and soon we had a number of Christian friends. These people even with all the usual problems people face seemed to have an attitude to life that I wanted. I started to wonder what made these people different and learned that they had a deep abiding faith in Jesus Christ. These people slowly introduced me to God in a proper sense as a loving God who wanted a relationship with me.

I had a lot of people praying for me in the background and they never gave up. They also never pushed me, which I appreciated deeply. They just used little hints. We did Christianity Explained (an introduction to Christianity) together and we have continued to study since. We started going to church in November 2002. Val and I were baptized together in October 2003. Looking back I can see a lot of progress in my Christian life and I always pray that I will never lose direction. That God will continue to be in my life and that I will seek His will for me.

I’ve heard it said that God gave us two ears and one mouth and they should be used in that ratio. I’m learning to love other people. This is easy with people similar to us, but to show Gods love to everybody is my aim. Am I there yet (whatever that happens to mean)? No way. Am I enjoying my daily walk with Jesus? You’d better believe it.

I believe that AA gave me an introduction to a power outside of myself and for that I will be eternally grateful. Today I choose to call this power God. I talk to God through his son Jesus on a daily basis and I believe He hears me and responds. I look back on my life and can see God working in many ways. It was my stubbornness and some faint hope that I was actually in control of my life that led me to deny Him for many years. It’s taken many years to get to where I am today. Thankfully God never gives up on his people. He is always there waiting for us to turn over our lives to Him and worship and praise Him.

Val and I agree on our walk with Jesus. However I’m still praying that she will agree with me on the subject of motorcycles. That is something we have never agreed on, but the Kawasaki VN750 is under the house. You could probably say I wore Val down or caught her at a bad moment. Thanks be to God that I’m still in this world and enjoying life very much. Faith in Jesus has enabled me to change my attitudes to people. I feel I am on a very exciting journey in life. I now know the final destination and that is with Jesus and the Father in Heaven for eternity. How long the route will be and what happens along the way are left to Jesus to map out. I have another chance at life and all I have to do is believe in Jesus. How simple is that and how hard do we fight against that surrender to someone who loves us completely.

I have so many people to thank for helping me in so many ways along the path. Some have already gone to be with the Father. Some I have yet to meet.

So until then stay upright. Kev.

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